Panera's Charged Lemonade was one of our last remaining vices
Panera Bread is getting rid of its highly caffeinated Charged Lemonades, which attracted lawsuits.
A large lemonade contained up to 390 milligrams of caffeine — about as much as four cups of coffee.
But it was a fun treat in an otherwise dangerous world. I'll miss it.
Panera Bread is finally getting rid of its Charged Lemonade — another chip away at our freedom.
In a world with few acceptable vices left — and a lot to worry about — Panera's "Charged Sips" were a bright spot.
Smoking, of course, is out, and vaping is for degenerate teens. Zyn might be acceptable in the field of stimulants you can do at the office, but I'm concerned about gum health. Even moderate drinking, long the most socially acceptable pleasure, is out, as more and more people follow the (sadly, probably true) advice of wellness podcasters that any amount of alcohol is unhealthy for you.
I'd only had a Charged Sip — its official name — one time: a large strawberry-lemon-mint Charged Lemonade. It was delicious! I don't usually drink sweet drinks, but it hit just right. And yes, I felt moderately energized, but nothing more than how I feel on coffee. I was disappointed. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel the jitters and the sweats. I wanted the lemonade to mess me up.
As for Panera, I guess this was the wise move if you're a suburban lunch chain and one of your products becomes an internet meme that some have dubbed, fairly or not, "death lemonade" and you're facing multiple lawsuits. (Panera has said those are without merit.)
Of course, that people may have died or had serious health problems is tragic and serious. Panera's putting giant caffeine warning labels all over its menu, I guess, wasn't enough.
Bloomberg reported that over the next two weeks the Charged Sips line would be discontinued in favor of a new low-caffeine, low-sugar line of drinks, including a lavender-blueberry lemonade, a pomegranate-hibiscus tea, and two others.
But for those who can handle the caffeine, what could be more freeing, refreshing, and exciting than guzzling down some forbidden mango-yuzu-citrus Charged Lemonade? To release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin. Nothing else can do this for you, only you can chug it in.
So farewell, Charged Sips. You were too beautiful an idea ("What if someone got zooted on caffeine while eating soup from a bread bowl?") for this world. I find comfort in knowing you'll be reunited with your family — Sparks, Four Loko, and Jolt — in that big plastic cup in the sky.
Read the original article on Business Insider
